Working Girl

Working Girl

Yes, fun, I’m a prostitute, ha. Whatever this used to mean – women only having one job – it doesn’t anymore. I am an Office Girl now! I took this job after about six months of being rejected for every job there seemed to be: too old, over-qualified, or didn’t have enough social job skills. It wasn’t much fun. But at least I had my freedom.

For a week and a half I’ve been going to bed early every night like a good girl, waking up Grumpy Cat-ish at 7 every morning. BIKING 30 minutes to work over bridges and through fields, by houses with huge (vegetable) gardens, and coloured sheep. Experiencing Arnhem wake up. Going for little walks during my break, making new friends and talking about everything that’s important and anything that’s not. Sounds healthy, doesn’t it?

That was the good part. I’ve also been¬†staring at computer screens for over 7 fulltime days now, trying to lose big headaches by consuming painkillers and trying to eat and drink as regularly as possible. I’ve been avoiding screens at home, forgetting about my hobbies, my projects, my creativity. Sometimes I just want to go to bed as soon as I come home from work. Sometimes my eyes will roll to the back of my head when I’m staring at a screen once again and I can’t see what anything means. I’m scared of the corporate responsibilities all day.

So what means more to me, in life? I’ve been quite the Paris Hilton untill now, never really having to work. I did my fair share of weird jobs because I couldn’t be bothered by any normal, dull job. Instead, I watched movies while I ate cookies for a University’s food studies, or I sniffed smelly fragrances in a lab. Okay, maybe that’s just Wageningen (town). I was okay with any job, as long as people didn’t bother too much with me and I didn’t have to work crazy long hours each day.

At the moment I’m feeling tortured even seeing what people on Facebook are doing with their lives, because my friend list exists merely out of artists, photographers, models, make-up artists, stylists, students and travellers, and I want to be all of them at once. Each day I try to frantically come up with some creative idea to make money but will still grant me with significant experiences and artsy happiness, and passionate working. I’m spoiled.

Do I keep doing a (corporate) job that’s messing with my creative brain and leaving me with square eyes? For the sake of the money, and the experience working in an office?¬†Or do I quit early once again in search of goals in life and things that ACTUALLY interest me?

I don’t want to be a quitter. But I don’t want to be in a cubicle, either.

 

3 thoughts on “Working Girl

  1. imme denk aan het 20 jarige artikel!!
    en ik snap dat het echt doorbijten is, maar het is tot januari dus je weet al dat je niet je hele leven hier aan vast zit :)
    als je nu de rot baantjes doet heb je hierna genoeg ervaring om bij werk te gaan solliciteren wat jou echt interesseert.

  2. I can definitely identify with you. I remember one of the reasons I felt so attracted to the idea of becoming a physiotherapist was that I would not have to stare at a computer screen all day long. I would be able to interact with people, to use my brain, to really do something. And here I am, about to become an editor and thus working on a computer forty hours a week. But I choose to do this – it’s what I’m good at.

    As said on Facebook by other people, this job is not forever. If anything, it might even give you opportunities because you earn money. It may not be fun right now, but who knows how this may help you in the future when you pursue a more creative career.

    Also, cut yourself some slack. Everything is new. Allow yourself to just get used to that, and once you have found a rhythm, you will find time and energy for all that creativity.

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